Q: Pros and cons of co-sleeping ? And until what age ?

I am a co sleeping mum. I’m declaring this upfront as my responses may be biased. I love the co sleeping experience and would not have traded this despite the inconveniences that it brings.

The Pros:
1. A big part of co sleeping is the convenience it brings especially if you are a breastfeeding Mum. For new Mums, co sleeping is a life saver as it allows you to get sufficient rest as you juggle the demands of caring for a newborn. The alternative is to wake up fully, get your child from a separate room as frequent as 3-4 times a night in the early months of the child’s life and hopefully be able to put your sleeping child back to bed without him waking up.

2. But beyond that it allows you to enjoy a closeness with your child through their formative years. This intimacy is hard to replicate if they were sleeping in a separate room. This is precious if you were

• a working mum who occasionally is tired enough to fall asleep before your child does (I do);
• have two or more young child to manage. You want to spend time with both kids and yet cater to the different requirements of both age groups (eg breastfeed one but also bedtime stories for another);
• Both parents can participate in the child’s bedtime routine and yet have the flexibility to prioritise work commitments if they need to. Eg. Respond to a quick work email.

The Cons:
Yes, there are inconveniences that you have to put up with.

1.Less private time with your spouse. Lights out will generally be earlier for the parents and later as a whole for the kids compared to if the kids slept separately
2. You need space to cater for the growing child when you can no longer fit his/her acrobatics without waking up. We eventually bought a single bed for her but still in the same room
3. Having to deal with worries that your child will not learn to sleep independently. But your child grows up fast. And my experience is that you will observe that they would want their own space little by little. Eg. My 4 year old asked to sleepover at her grandpa’s place. She did fine, sleeping well on her own the whole night and did not make a fuss despite this being her first night without us. She had also asked to have her own princess room. These are cues that you can use to encourage greater independence in your child and eventually move him or her to sleeping in a separate room.

How long to co sleep with your child also depends on how this arrangement works out for you. If you do not have the luxury of space of another bed for example, you may choose to move your child out much earlier when your sleep becomes affected.