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Q: Some times a parent does not like his/her kid? What should the parent do to him/herself and also to the kid?

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Submitted by midschooler on Sat, 08/13/2016 - 10:31, updated on Tue, 08/29/2017 - 07:42
Categories: 
Parent
Psychology

In general, a parent is always loving his/her kid.  But in real life, it's not easy.  Being a parent is enjoyable but also a tough job :)


Answers (1)

Submitted by Kidsntravel on Mon, 05/22/2017 - 11:21, updated on Thu, 07/20/2017 - 06:56
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Your child is an individual with their own personality and preferences and it is entirely possible that your child may not get on with you as much as you would like to. It may also be a passing phase. It is not uncommon that as your child grows, there are phases where he is testing his boundaries and exercising his independence. This could lead to frequent clashes and disagreements that will leave you wondering how did your sweet child became a different person overnight. But as with everything else, it is about finding commonalities and focusing on the positives aspects of your child. The goal is to create positive experiences and reduce negative ones.

1). Does he/ she have any interest and hobbies? Learning something or doing a sport together may lead you to discover new aspects of your child that you are unaware of.

2). List down what you love about your child. Or even just moments where you felt happy around your child. Think about how you can encourage that behaviour or what do you need to do to create the environment. Eg. A happy or peaceful moment could be when you watched a movie at home together. If so, you can have a dedicated movie night every month.

3). It's a misconception that you have to love your child all the time. Allow yourself to be honest about what you dislike about your child. Are these dislikes about values or personality quirks? If they are the former eg. He or she tend to tell lies, bullies others etc then it is important to address these issues head-on rather than generalising it. If it is the latter eg. Your child may tend to be less sociable than you are, may not be a cheerful child etc, I don't think you should change or expect your child to change. However, accepting these personality differences may make it easier for you to take a step back and see from your child's point of view.

Sometimes, all you might need is some space and ‘me’ time to put everything into perspective.