Q: My kids can be cruel to each other. How do I stop sibling put-downs?

While most people will tell you it is normal for siblings to argue and insult each other, a line can be crossed into what is known as “sibling bullying”. This is the intentional act of hurting a sibling both emotionally and physically. This is not normal or okay and can lead to serious health issues for the sibling involved including anxiety disorders and depression.

Intervene and take action. You are the parent and must take control of the situation. Separate your children and discuss with them individually about what occurred – get both sides of the story. When all is calm in your home, speak to each child separately about the consequences of bullying behavior and then discuss as a group what behaviors are not acceptable and will be punished.

Find out why one child is bullying the other. There may be some underlying issue – talk with your child and listen to their concerns and feelings. It may be that sibling feels that they do not receive as much attention as your other child or children. Make each child feel equally important by providing each with individual quality time.

If the bullying is aggressive or dangerous, do not hesitate to contact a medical professional. There may be a physical or psychological reason for the bullying.