Q: How to discipline a kid ?

Even though our child’s behaviour can have us feeling irritated, sad, angry, annoyed, confused or hurt, it is imperative that we maintain a kind, yet firm, stance when it comes to disciplining our children. Our goal when disciplining our children is to teach them to be responsible, cooperative, kind and respectful. The best way to teach this is to remain consistent, follow through with the same punishment for the same misdeed and to discuss the discipline with your child openly and honestly with your child afterward.

Disciplinary actions should be age-appropriate and discussed and understand in advance so that children know what to expect when they misbehave. Allow yourself a brief “time-out” before responding with appropriate discipline.

Always avoid yelling or hitting.

It is possible to discipline your child in positive ways:

• Eye-to-eye.
  Approach your child and get eye-to-eye while you softly and respectfully explain their misbehaviour and consequences.

• Teach your child what they CAN do.
  Show your child what an acceptable alternative to their behaviour is and praise them when they do it.

• Focus on solutions.
  Try to avoid placing blame on your child and instead involve them in problem solving a solution to the situation. If they don’t want to do something, ask them why. Work with your child to reach a mutually beneficial result. For example, if your child refuses to get dressed in the morning, it may be because they don’t like the outfit you chose. Work with your child to choose one they prefer.

• Validate your child’s feelings.
  Help your child identify the way they feel. For example, instead of telling them to stop screaming, try saying, “I know you’re really angry.”

• Take responsibility.
  Set a good example for your children. They learn a great deal through imitation so it is important that you model respectful behaviour. This includes admitting when you have acted inappropriately and apologizing.