Q: How to handle disagreement with my parents about how to raise the kid?

It seems that as soon as you have a child, everyone and their neighbour know how to raise them better than you! While it is easy to dismiss and disregard the unsolicited advice from friends, neighbours and co-worker, it is not so easy to ignore your own parents. They raised you, so they can’t be completely wrong, right?

Regardless, parenting styles have changed and evolved since our parents days of taking care of us, so it natural to feel that their advice is out-dated and inappropriate. The question is: How do you tell them that?

While I’m sure you stand your ground on your parenting decisions, helping your own parents understand why you make the choices you do can be a struggle.

First of all, remember that they mean well. Like I said, they raised you and you turned out pretty great so they must have done something right – and they only mean to impart their parenting wisdom so that your child will be great too.

When dealing with overbearing parents, it is important to make sure that you and your partner on the same page when it comes to your parenting choices. That way, you can approach your parents as a united front and show them that you both are in agreement as to how the children are being raised.

Try to approach arguments diplomatically and with understanding. If you are presented with unwanted advice, simply say, “I appreciate that. I’ll think about it.” Oftentimes it is not worth it to defend your position on parenting or get angry about the issue. At the end of the day, they are your children.

Lastly, you need to hold your ground if boundaries are crossed. Your parents may take it upon themselves to do something for your child that you do not agree with, especially something that you know they understand your position on such as cookies before supper or how you choose to discipline your children. Address the issue calmly, while the children are not around, and emphasize the importance of respecting your parenting decisions. Try to make it a conversation of love and understanding instead of a confrontation.