Q: How to help my child to make friends? How about keep friends?

Toddlers

If your child is younger, around the toddler stage, you can help him/her develop their social skills by taking them to playparks and playgroups. Ease your child into social situations by telling other children what your little one's name is and asking for theirs. Introduce the two children and encourage them to play.

Teenagers

The teenage years can pose some challenges when it comes to your child making and keeping friends. You may feel that there is little you can do to help their social life, but you can guide them in building the confidence they need in creating close bonds with peers.

1. Create an open and honest relationship with your child.

First and foremost it is important to have an open and honest relationship with your child – create an environment of communication so that your child is comfortable talking to you about their personal issues. Keep your focus on their good qualities and praise their positive character traits, such as how helpful they are or their great listening skills.

When your child does confide in you, refrain from passing judgment or telling them how to resolve their issues. When you talk with your child about their problems, listen to them first before talking them through potential solutions and allowing them to choose what they believe is the best course of action.

2. Foster good communication skills.

In order to directly help your teen interact with peers, teach them good conversational skills. Demonstrate how to give proper attention to someone who is speaking and how to inquire and ask questions to learn more about the other person. If you think it will help them, try role-playing scenarios where you act out potential social situations and have your teen practice how to speak with and to other teens. This practice can be especially helpful if your teen finds themselves teased or bullied at school – it can provide them a repertoire of appropriate responses.

3. Create a social environment.

You'll want to make sure you are providing an environment for your teen to foster interpersonal relationships. Open your home to potential friends or plan simple social events, such as the movies or a sporting event, to have your child spend time socially with peers. Ensure that the event is as stress free as possible for your child by reducing the need for one-on-one conversation – you can put on a movie at home or go out as previously mentioned. Most importantly, do not conduct yourself in a way that may embarrass your teen. You are simply an event coordinator.

4. Enroll your child in a community or social group.

Lastly, encourage your child to join social or community groups that interest them. Meeting peers with similar interests is a great and natural way for your teen to begin making friends. Look into programs offered by the church, school and communities and facilitate your child's participation.

We all know how difficult making and keeping friends can be, even though we have far surpassed our teenage days. Be sensitive to your child and seek their needs. You can be the greatest supporter in their development of close relationships.